S o f t ` W h i s p e r s

OhMyGod :/

2010-03-22T21:22:00.003+03:00

You guysss !
Omg omg omg omg ... I'm SO SO SO SORRY!
I know I haven't posted anything in like AGES ..literally.
Again, I'M SO SORRY.
I just had SO much work to dooo! And I just could not think about anything, bas now the workload is becoming less and I dedicated more time to writing. So yeah, will you guys continue the story wla I start a new one? :/ 'Cause even I had to RE READ it :P XD Bas ya3ne it's just like 11 posts, so it's not that much. xD
SO SORRY :(

The Tables Have Been Turned (11)

2009-06-26T22:44:00.001+03:00

Continued from the previous entry

Then I heard a ‘dinggg’ and the elevator door opened to our floor and I stepped out with tears streaming down my face and I ran to my room.

Once in my room I couldn’t stop crying. It was quiet, and all I could do was think about what happened in the past few days. There was one word (or should I say name) that kept repeating in my head over and over again.

Khaled…

Why the hell was I such a bitch to him? Sara’s right, he doesn’t deserve this. He’s the nicest, most likable guy I have ever met and I threw him away like a kid would throw out an old toy. That’s exactly how I was acting, like a child. A greedy, spoilt, stuck in the past child who still believed that 7amad was going to come galloping on his white horse just like prince charming.

But I’m not stuck in the past anymore. Seeing Masha3el today was just what I needed to get over her, proof that she was a man-loving whore. She just goes from one guy to the next, not thinking about the consequences. I bet Fahad’s just like her, just like 7amad. He probably told his girlfriend (or fiancé in my case) that he loved her, then hours later hooked up with Masha3el. I feel so sorry for the both of them, especially Masha3el. I look down on her, I pity her. W I thank god that she did what she did, she proved to me that 7amad wasn’t worth my time, effort and most importantly love. I realize now that I’ve kept my heart in a box, sealed away because of fear that what happened before with 7amad might happen again, but I’m not going to do that anymore.

Didn’t I just say that I wouldn’t discuss the past? I’m over it. Completely over it. Anyway, I remembered that I didn’t speak to Khaled since I sent him that text message so I looked through my messages hoping to find an unread text message from him, but to my dismay, there was nothing.

-------------------------------------------

From Khaled’s Perspective

Rja3t ils3oodya 3shan I didn’t know what to do. Shift her message
‘Babe, wallah I’m so sorry… Bas you know what happened with 7amad before...’
Keif tigdar itgool babe ba3d ilee 9ar? Ba3d kl ileee 6ila3 mn famha itgool ‘babe’. Bas it’s true, a3rif aish 9ar ma3 7amad w I kinda take the blame for what happened. I shouldn’t have said I love you, maybe it was too soon? Maybe I should have waited until she said it first? Ma3rif, I’m too confused right now. A day passed w I didn’t reply to her message w she didn’t send anything. Does that mean she thinks it’s over? Wla yimkin she thinks that because I didn’t reply that I want it to be over? Ufff ilbanat marra confusing!

I decided to send her a message and just forget about everything that happened, just continue as if masma3t shay because as I said before, me telling her ‘I love you’ made all of this happen, so I sent her this

‘When are you leaving Dubai? Ab’3a ashoofk’

That was simple, and I did want to see her, talk to her face to face about what I heard, and what I was going to do until I heard what she said.

---------------------------------------

Juju’s perspective, continuation of the diary entry

Right after putting my phone down, disappointed that he didn’t reply to my message, my phone vibrated indicating that I received a text.

Breathe Slow <3 [ Dedicated To Lady Dazzzzy :* ]

2009-06-24T00:51:00.002+03:00

Ok, so .. I've been working on Lady Dazzy's project thing

I've been wanting to do it since EVER :D And i finally got inspired by the wonderfully amazing song she recommended, Breathe Slow .. ahh it's so amazing

Dazzy: I know I was supposed to email this to you, bas I'm too lazy to search for your email, so I'm posting it here, w inshallah you see it :P

And I hope you guys like it, because for once in my life I actually like something that I wrote, w this was actually funnn !!! I wanna do more <3>

Anywayssss, here it is

______________________

I could feel the tears as they slowly made their way down my face. I could see my reflection in the window, I could see the tears as they reach my chin and linger there for a second, maybe two. Then they would let go and fall into uncertainty. I could see the cars outside, going to places, coming back from places without a care in the world. My breathing starts to accelerate and my mind keeps going back to what I saw, what I read.

Can’t forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten 
With my eyes closed

As I take in a breath I could feel it cleansing me, then I sensed a shiver go through my whole body. I took in my second breath, third, fourth and fifth. I kept counting the breaths as I drew them in, as I exhaled. When I reached the last breath, just before I could inhale my doorbell rang.
Great I thought to myself. I stood up, grabbed a tissue and wiped away my tears. As I was walking to the door I passed by the mirror and I saw my reflection. My face was bloated and red, ashkara I was crying. My hair, which was once in a messy bun, became even messier if that’s possible. Strands of my straight dark brown hair were all over the place, some clinging to my face. I assumed it was my friend Reem, so I just called out “Ooooone sec, I’m coming”. I ran to the bathroom, opened the tap and splashed my face with cold, refreshing water that all of a sudden energized me. I dabbed a towel onto my face and looked in the mirror for any proof that I was crying, I found none. Good. I undid my hair and tied it back into a high ponytail. I ran back to the door and just before opening it I tucked in the loose strands behind my ear, fixed my posture and opened the door.
There wasn’t anyone there. I stepped out and looked to my right and found nothing except for my neighbor’s welcome mat. I then looked to my left and found the elevator. No one was there. As I turned around and headed back into my apartment I tripped on something and I almost fell over my coffee table. When I looked down I found a bouquet of a dozen red roses that were left there. I wasn’t surprised, but I didn’t want anything to do with them, so I picked them up and headed towards the trash can. Just then, I spotted a card in between the roses and it read ‘I’m sorry, I love you… turn me over :)’. So I turned the card over and it read ‘I love YOU, and only you. No one else’.

Just then, as if on cue tears filled up my eyes,

I love you too much 
It shows, all my emotions go out of control 
When I can hardly see 
From the tears that flow

I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me. I was just over it… I didn’t think there were any more tears in me to flow out! Tawnee I felt energized and refreshed, and now, here I am, crying again. If someone walks by my apartment they’ll see a girl in her pajama shorts and tank top holding a bouquet of roses in her hands and crying like a sad little child. Pathetic I know. I feel so weak, fragile and useless. I feel abandoned, unwanted and neglected. I turned to close the door and everything was a blur, I couldn’t see from the tears that kept pouring out of me, and my body felt frail. I threw the roses onto the couch and sat on the floor, against the door with the card in my hands. I kept reading it over and over again ‘No one else’. Did he really think that sending me a bouquet would make me forget everything that happened? Did he really think that I’d pretend that it’s all okay? Does he believe that sending me these flowers would prove to me that he’s faithful? I knew one thing for sure; I knew that he wasn’t faithful. He was disloyal, faithless, deceptive and devious. There was no way I was going to go back running into his arms. No way.
Even though I love him.
No, I don’t love him. I love the man that used to be him. He changed, and I don’t like the new him. Just as I was getting lost in my own thoughts, my phone starts to vibrate. It was on the coffee table next to the couch with the roses. I stood up, wiped away the tears and I answered the phone without looking at the screen. It’s probably Reem getting some movies for later I thought to myself.
I took a deep breath,

“Aloo” I said calmly. I was greeted by a voice I knew all too well.
“Hala Siham” Ummm what? Did he seriously say Hala to me?
“Na3am? Shtabee? A9lan ma bagee shay for you to say, gilt kl shay. You know what, I hope you’re happy ma3aha, 5la9 gilna it’s over” A tear slowly crept down my face but I didn’t let it show in my voice “So shtabee ba3ad?”
“Mabeeha, abeech inti. I love YOU. Didn’t you get my flowers? Yalla ana na6rich ta7at, let’s go out ok? Yalla 7abeebti don’t be like this giltich I’m sorry”

I’m running out of patience

‘Cause I can’t believe what the hell I’m hearin’

And speaking of hell, it don’t compare to this heat that I’m feeling

Still on the phone, I walked over to my balcony and looked down. And sure enough, there he was, standing outside his newly purchased red Bentley with his hoodie up because of the rain. I was interrupted by his voice; I completely forgot he was on the phone

“So? Shgiltee? Ok?”
“LA! IT’S SO NOT OK.. YOU TREAT ME LIKE SHIT W YOU EXPECT ME TO COME BACK? I’VE BEEN PUTTING UP WITH THIS FOR 4 YEARS 7SAIN! 4 YEARS! W KL MARRA ITGOOL SORRY. 5LA9, I’M PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!” I was so surprised, I’m not usually this emotional, but my emotions are out of control. He was so taken aback by what I said; I could hear the hesitation in his voice. He didn’t say anything.
“7sain, 5la9.. that’s it. I won’t be treated this way anymore” At that point the tears came back. Perfect. I was crying so hard. I knew that he could hear me gasping for air, but I continued talking, “Please… don’t call me anymore… bye”

And with that, I ended the phone call. I sighed a big sigh of relief and comfort. I texted Reem, ‘Wenich? Please ta3aleely w get movies and ice cream pleaaase :)’. Then I noticed the roses were still on my couch. I picked them up, walked slowly to the balcony, and threw them out… signaling the end of the relationship. And I suddenly felt a sense of liberation wash over me, a feeling I haven’t felt for the past four years.

Can’t forget to breathe slow 
Count from one to ten 
With my eyes closed

The Tables Have Been Turned (10)

2009-06-20T14:15:00.005+03:00

Ok, here's the deal.

I know my posts are short. But I promise to keep them coming, so that should make you guys happy right? I really did TRY to write a long one, but it just didn't work, it was too boring and it just dragged on.

Anyways, here's part 10 w I hope you like it.

NOTE to dazzzy: Writing those stories is hard :( Bas I'm trying, w as soon as I'm done (which could be a loooong time :p) I'll send it to you :D

Oh, w is it just me or is blogger really slow these days? Ya3ne I post something w it takes it hours to show up :s

_____________________________________

Continued from the previous diary entry

“Now that you ask, bitcha3el here ruined my life. So here’s a little friendly advice, be careful. Yalla Sara inroo7”

I grabbed Sara by the hand and just as we were leaving she turned around and said “I hope you choke on the wasabi, bitch”

We managed to get a taxi quickly and we headed back to the hotel. I sat in the taxi in silence and I could tell that Sara wanted to say something about what happened, bas she remained quiet. I got my iPod out and pressed play and the first song that came up was Bala 7ub. That made me remember the day on the balcony where I first met Fahad so I immediately pressed next… ‘The Mess I Made’ by Parachute was the next song and it made me feel like complete crap because it made me think about a lot of things. The first thing I thought about was, ‘God I’m a bitch!... A guy told me he loved me and all I did was ignore him.’ Then I went back in time and thought about that day. That terrible, dreadful summer day. It was supposed to be the best day in my life. It was my birthday and all my friends were there, my family was there and my fiancé was there. I knew they were planning a surprise for me so I went shopping with Sara. That’s what I regret the most, I should have just stayed at the apartment watching movies, but no … I had to be my usual stubborn self and insist on going out shopping. Actually, no.. I don’t regret it at all. Bil3aks I’m GLAD I went shopping, I’m glad that I went and saw what I saw, because otherwise I wouldn’t have known what Masha3el was doing. I mean, I knew she had lots of boyfriends bas she was my best friend, and 7amad and I were supposed to get married!

Just when I was reaaaally getting into the song Sara takes off one of my earphones and says “Joooooj shfeech? Yalla w9alna”
“Shno? Ohhh ok, I’m coming” Just before I left the car I promised myself that I’ll leave the past in the past and not bring it up every again, the name Masha3el means nothing to me.

So we went into the elevator. I pressed on ‘40’ which was the top floor, where our rooms were. I stood there with Sara in silence watching the buttons light up as we were passing the floors when Sara broke the silence

“Jooj, I know you don’t want to talk 3an ilee 9ar ilyom bas you have to let it out ok? You can’t keep suppressing your feelings, mb zein”
As soon as she said that I felt my eyes starting to water and for some reason I felt heat rush up to my face. Just as I was about to burst out I reminded myself that there is no reason why I should bring up the past. Ilee 9ar, 9ar, w it’s not like I can change what happened. So I just looked at Sara and calmly said to her “Sara, nothing happened. Fahad has a girlfriend, w I don’t even know the guy that well, so 3adee.. whatever”
“J, that’s not what I was-”
“I know Sara, I don’t want to talk about it ok? Just let it go. She’s irrelevant”
“Ok fine, bas know that I love you and that I’m here for you ok?”

Then I heard a ‘dinggg’ and the elevator door opened to our floor. I stepped out with tears streaming down my face and I ran to my room.

8 things + QUESTION

2009-06-19T18:45:00.001+03:00

I was tagged a couple of days ago, bas i couldn't find the time to do this

But, now i have the time, so here it goes ...

w M, thanks for the tag hun ;* w allah ygawim your dad blsalama

8 Things I'm looking forward to:

- SUMMER

- Europe <3

- Graduation

- Ramadan, best part of the year :D

- All the TV shows to start again in September :P

- My birthday in July

- Finishing my story xD

- Hopefully getting good grades

8 Things I wish I could do:

- Travel around the world

- Tan without burning - For me, I burn THEN the tan comes a few days later :P

- Bake

- Control the weather. Haha, random i know :P But right now there's a dust storm and it's so windy w i want it to stoppp >.<

- Flyyy. Again, random. But there was a bird next my window w it just flew away...

- Draw <3

- Speak Spanish

- Stop procrastinating

8 Things I love:

- My friends and family

- Shoes

- Online shopping - my new addiction (L)

- Photography & my camera

- Photoshop

- My laptop

- My Blackberry

- London during the winter

8 Things I did yesterday - my day was pretty much uneventful so things I'm gonna list are lame xD

- Go shopping

- Work on my story

- I took my brother to the pearl because he wanted to see the Ferraris -.-

- Sleeeeeep <3>

- Eat

- Worked on an art project

- Bought flowers

- Spoke on the phone

8 Shows I watch:

- One Tree Hill

- Gossip Girl

- 90210

- Desperate Housewives

- House

- Bones

- Lost

- Heroes

8 Bloggers I tag (I'll just tag a few 'cause most of you were already tagged XD)

- Mimil - So you can start your blog :P

- MOTH - 'cause you've been gone, god knows where. Come back !

- ATW - Who's finally back :D

Everyone else i wanna tag is already tagged, so yeah :P

AND HERE'S THE QUESTION

Ok, so I'm writing my story. BUT all i can come up with are short posts :P So, would you guys want me to post the short ones or post one long one? If you choose the long one, then you'd have to wait a while. Inspiration hits me rarely.

The Tables Have Been Turned (9B)

2009-06-19T01:20:00.005+03:00

I feel like i keep apologizing to you guys. Sorry - again. Here's a short one. Butttt i should be excused because

a) this is the second post today anddd its good ;p so yeah.

b) you get the answer behind the whole Masha3el-Juju thing so be happy ok? Pleaase? :D

oh and c) This is part b, so when combined with part a it makes one LOOOONG post xD

Oh, and for the people who are about to read this, read part 9A first. I posted it earlier today.

A7ibkum alll :*

_____________________________________

Continued from the previous diary entry

Oh, so she was the girlfriend. She said the word ‘7abeeby’ in the most daloo3a tone ever, it was worse than what I remembered. She seemed so demure, modest and innocent, but I knew better. I knew that this was all an act and that the horns are bound to come out sooner or later.

Fahad noticed that I had a strange look on my face (strange is the wrong word to use, I had a look of disgust like I was about to throw up or something) and he said “Shfeech? Are you okay?”

I was like “No shitttt i7lif bas?! You’re with my ex-best friend who stole away the guy I loved on my fucking BIRTHDAY. DO I LOOK OKAY TO YOU?!”

Ok diary … I OBVIOUSLY didn’t say that to him; but the fact that he’s with her just disgusts me. I can never look at him again, I had to get out of there.

“Fahad, dgeega bas baroo7 il7amam” I grabbed my phone and headed to the bathroom. When I was there I BBMed Sara,

Jo: Saraaa !! WTF shtabee. I can’t stay here. Just tell Fahad I had to leave ok? Pleaaaaase
Sara: I told you something bad was gonna happen. I knew bi9eer shay. I knew it.
Jo: Sara chub ok? You always turn out to be right, im sorry ok? Can you tell me what to do?
Sara: OMG you should so STAY and do what she did to you :O
Sara: You realize that was a joke right?
Sara: Juju, wenich? OMG I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING. STOP NOW! I CAN SEE YOU WALKING TOWARDS US. GO BACK TO THE HOTEL. 3ad I was jokinggg

I liked the idea of revenge. I hated her, what she did to me was so not cool. She was my best friend. We were brought up together, kint in her house KL YOM w she basically lived in mine. We talked about everything together, I knew everything about her and she knew everything about me. She was closer to me than my own sister. What she did to me wasn’t just ‘bad’, or having bad judgment or being a backstabber, it was more than that it was complete and utter betrayal.

Anyway, so I walked back to the table. Sara was giving me a yal-7mara-don’t-do-it look which I completely ignored. I took my place next to Sara, smiled at Fahad and said,

“So Masha3el, how’s life with you lately? 7amad-less?”
Fahad, very confused said “You two know each other?!”
“Now that you ask, bitcha3el here ruined my life. So here’s a little friendly advice, be careful. Yalla Sara inroo7”

I grabbed Sara by the hand and just as we were leaving she turned around and said “I hope you choke on the wasabi, bitch”

The Tables Have Been Turned (9A)

2009-06-18T17:09:00.004+03:00

Ok, so I've been a bad blogger. Sorry. My exams finished and I finally found time to relax and write something. I've written an extremely short post now bas i promise part B will be posted soon. Hopefully by tomorrow, maybe even tonight if i suddenly get inspired. And I barely read anything this whole week, so I'll catch up on your stories today :D

Oh, and I got tagged agessss ago by M but I didn't have time to do it, so I'll do that soon

So here it is, hope you guys like it. Oh, and no cliffhanger 'cause I keep getting a slap on the wrist every time i have one (a)

______________________________________________

Continued from the previous diary entry

While Fahad was still on the phone I randomly looked up at the entrance and saw her. It was like poison suddenly spread across the atmosphere, the whole evening was ruined and I was plunged back into hatred, hurt and anger. What was she doing there? I couldn’t believe what was happening, why couldn’t she just leave me alone? Stop haunting me! When I decided to move on from the past, it suddenly found a way to fly back and hit me right in the face. It was enough to make me shiver with rage.

Sara looked at the direction I was looking at and saw that she was here. Sara turned to me and said “dude, she’s heading towards our table”

w since we were on the last table, she was obviously coming towards us, even though I secretly hoped she wouldn’t notice we were there and head right into the wall where her head would start bleeding and she would instantly die.

That didn’t happen.

“Hala” Her voice was strangely relaxed and calm, I was sure that if I would have said anything I would have lost it, I would have been extremely infuriated. As soon as she said ‘hala’ Fahad turned around and smiled at her. Usually, I would find his smile to be comforting but this was just nauseating and off-putting. I was so clueless, I had no idea what to make of his smiling at her. The only thing that I kept thinking was ‘why the hell is he smiling at her?!’
Then, Fahad said “Hala Masha3el, wein Fara7… ma yat?”

What?

It suddenly hit me, she was either the girlfriend or the girlfriend’s friend. I wished and prayed that she was the girlfriend’s friend. It really isn’t possible that this would happen to me twice. Ok fine, last time was different, but she still ended up with the guy.

Shtabeeeee?!

She cleared her throat (I hoped that she was chocking, but it turned out to be a ‘hey-juju-did-you-miss-me?’ type of thing because she gave me a na’6ra) and said “la 7abeeeby fara7 maree’9a” then she sat down next to him. Oh, so she was the girlfriend. She said the word ‘7abeeby’ in the most daloo3a tone ever, it was worse than what I remembered. She seemed so demure, modest and innocent, but I knew better. I knew that this was all an act and that the horns are bound to come out sooner or later.

The Tables Have Been Turned (8)

2009-06-05T17:58:00.001+03:00

Hello my dear readers :D

Yes, it has been a long time w I apologize for that. It's exam time and everyone is stressed, and with stress in the air, I can't be creative and write :(

I tried anyway and this is what i came up with, hope you guys enjoy it ;*

________________________________________________

Saturday May 14^th 2009

You’d think Nobu was fun right? Well, it wasn’t. Here’s exactly what happened…

So I told Sara we’re going to Nobu w she was all like
“SERIOUSLY?! I can’t believe you’re going out with him, that’s so WRONG. It’s the hot one though right?”
“Awal shay, its not me and him ALONE, it’s me, YOU, him madree mn, he said ‘ma3ana’ so I’m guessing his friends? I don’t know. Second, I don’t even want to have a lecture from you about why this is wrong, so I won’t even get into it. Now yalla, get ready cause we’re supposed to be ta7at in like twenty minutes. Oh, and yeah he’s the hot one I guess, machift his friends bas he was stun-ningg”
Sara stuck her tongue out at me and said “Fine… bas hay awal w a5er marra itsaween feeny chithee fahma?”
I just looked at her and raised an eye brow
“Fahmaaa!?” She had her arms crossed and she looked exactly like my mother when she was mad, which was so scary…
I quickly said “ee eeee fahma, now yallaaaa we’re gonna be late”

I went to my closet and I had no idea what to put on. I was literally staring at all my clothes for about ten minutes when Sara walked in as she was putting her earrings on,
“Joooj yalla I’m ready, inroo7?” Then she looked up at me, gasped and said “You told me to get ready bsir3a w I did, w inty leil7een in the same clothes ?! Whatever, just grab your bag w let’s go” She started to walk towards the door to my room. When she realized I wasn’t following her she stood there waiting for an explanation
“S, LAAA2 ! He saw me in this, I have to change, bas I don’t know what to wear… choose something for me”
She took one look at my clothes and said “Ok, umm… yay you brought your cute Laboutin heels, you know how much I love them! PLEASE tell me you brought that embroidered Balmain dress? The purple one? It looks SO cute on you… oh, here it is… ee w wear it with leggings. There. Now yalla !”
“Thank you so so so much, you’re a life saver! Wait, w sha3ree?”
“filee sha3rich w wear earrings, a9lan I don’t even know why you want to iksha5 because… by the way, you kinda have a boyfriend… 5aled ring a bell?”
“Yeah it does actually. Him listening to me dissing him also rings a couple of bells, so we’re not together anymore, he won’t stay with me…”
“Whatever, yalla go get ready, I’ll jahiz your bag”

Twenty minutes later me and Sara got to the lobby and saw him waiting for us. Alone. He was standing in front of the door, and was leaning lazily against a wall. He was wearing a red Armani sweater that highlighted his body in all the right places, coupled with jeans. Casual but Sexy. This guy really knows how to dress to impress. Every inch of him oozed the hot vibe that only the most confident, most attractive guys have, the effortless lazy boy stereotype.

“Soooo sorry we’re late…”
“Laa 3adee, wala ehimich, yalla inroo7?”
And we walked outside, when he saw that me and Sara were getting into our car he gave me his cheeky, tilted-to-the-side smile and said “Wein ray7een? Binroo7 ibsayartee”
Sara gave me the most astounded look ever and too low for Fahad to hear said, “No effing way, say laaaa2”
I obviously didn’t say la, “Okay… Yalla S” As soon as I said that Sara pinched me and forcedly smiled trying to be polite, but I know on the inside she was yelling ‘ya7maraa!!’. I knew she wouldn’t say anything in front of him though; she’s such a good friend. It almost made me feel guilty.

At the restaurant, we sat in one of the tables in the back. I hate sitting in the front, I feel so ‘exposed’ to people :P Anyway… the table was set for seven, so I asked Fahad who was coming and he said two of the guys and his girlfriend and her friend. As soon as he said the word ‘girlfriend’ I could literally feel my face turning tomato red!

Just as the waiter gave us the menus, Fahad gets a phone call from one of the guys w basically him and his friend can’t make it to dinner. So it was going to be Sara, Fahad, his girlfriend, her friend and me. Joy.

While Fahad was still on the phone I randomly looked up at the entrance and saw her. It was like poison suddenly spread across the atmosphere, the whole evening was ruined and I was plunged back into hatred, hurt and anger. What was she doing there? I couldn’t believe what was happening, why couldn’t she just leave me alone? Stop haunting me! When I decided to move on from the past, it suddenly found a way to fly back and hit me right in the face. It was enough to make me shiver with rage.

The Tables Have Been Turned (7)

2009-05-23T21:46:00.000+03:00

Is this a short post? Im sorry .. i just can't seem to concentrate for more than a minute these days. So many last-minute assignments and exams, I hope you like this post, it took so long to write ! I literally re-wrote it about five times, I'm not kidding!

So yeah, and this is dedicated to CuteandCuddly - Thanks so much for your support ;* (Loving the polo story by the way :D )

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Juju’s perspective – Diary Form (Still Friday May 13^th)

He heard everything…

I couldn’t breathe. I looked up at Sara

“Saraaa ! FUCKKKK…. SARA ! sima3 kil shayyyy !”
“Jooj, chill.. it’s not the end of the world… and plus, you got what you wanted right? You said you wanted to break up with him and now there’s no way you guys are gonna stay together… so yeah, there’s the silver lining”

We had a huge discussion which resulted in me PMSing on Sara’s ass, then stomping off to the balcony to have some alone time, because god knows I need it. I sat there on the balcony, listening to the distant car horns and watching the traffic slowly move. I picked up the phone because I just had to say something to him… I typed up my first message…
‘5alood, I’m sorry’ … I quickly delete that message cause it was too, madree.. it just wasn’t right. I went through about six different messages before I sent him ‘Babe, wallah I’m so sorry… Bas you know what happened with 7amad before...’. That was the perfect message to send.

I sat there, on the balcony listening to music and waiting for a reply from him. Anything would be good, even a break up… I can’t stand him not replying to me, the silence is unbearable. After about twenty long and extremely slow minutes, I heard shouting from the guys next door. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but after they were done one of the guys came out and walked right up to the balcony ledge and leaned on it. He took out his iPod and a cigarette, and started to smoke…
He didn’t realize that I was there,
Again, why the HELL do we share a balcony?
Whatever, anyway … I had no idea what to do, he was leaning against the railing, his biceps emphasized, his skin was tan and his polo shirt just made him look all the more like the perfect beach god, black thick hair- medium length thank God… not the long style so many guys attempt to wear. He had dirty stubble along his manly jaw and was tall, his broad shoulders are followed by a body that has obviously been to the gym a lot.
Just then, my phone started to ring and my brother was calling me. The guy turned back, obviously taken aback by my presence and I silenced my phone and whispered “sorry”.
Oh my god, it was so embarrassing! I stood up to leave but then he said
"Shda3waa stay", and he turned back, heading inside. I have to admit, I didn’t want him to go! His presence was actually kinda comforting
“No it’s fine, I’ll go… its kind of obvious that you’re mad at something and that you need to be alone or whatever, so I’ll go”
He smiled. OhMyGod… his smile, it was one of those that starts in the corner on one side and spreads, his lips were full and well shaped. Then, when his smile was complete… the dimple on his right cheek began to show… my heart melted, its like his smile reached out and dazzled me, held me prisoner… like a tiger hypnotizes its prey… and I was one happy prey
Then he said, “Since we’re both insisting that the other stays, how about we both just stay?”
I secretly thanked god that he said that and I sat down where I was before, he walked over to me and asked what I was listening to
“Bala 7ub” I said it without looking at him, it was so awkward
“What a coincidence” And he showed me what he was listening to
It was Bala 7ub too… ok, more awkwardness…
He sat down on the chair in front of me and said “I’m Fahad by the way, and you are?”
“Oh, hey… I’m Johara”
The situation could not get any more awkward… il awkwardness w9al 7adda. Luckily I was saved by Sara shouting from inside the room,
“JUJU YALLA BNI6LA3 NAKIL SHAY… IM SO HUNGRY, OK?!”
“Taboon ityoon ma3ana? Al7een binroo7 Nobu”
“Umm, no thanks … ma7ib Japanese food, plus sushi grosses me out”
“Now that you said that about sushi I insist that you come and try it, yimkin inti mat3arfeen shlon ti6lbeen il sushi”
“I’ve never tried sushi, shakla mb 7ilo”
“la la laaa, lazemm you try it…”

He was so adorable with his pleading eyes, I couldn’t say no to him!

“Ummm ok, why not? Give me twenty minutes w me and Sara will be down fil lobby” I go into the room and shout out “SARA.. GET READY, WE’RE GOING TO NOBU”

The Tables Have Been Turned (6)

2009-05-05T22:35:00.001+03:00

Hey you guys !

I feel like it's been such a long time since I've posted anything .. w I just want to thank all of the people who have been commenting ! I love you all ;*

This post is dedicated to my friend Mimil .. I hope you like it :D

Oh, one last thing... This post is from 5aled's perspective (w its NOT in diary form)

w I hope you like it, cause it was so hard writing from a guy's perspective ! xD

+ Sorry for the short post, a longer one next time inshallah

________________________________________________

** Before the phone conversation: **

I feel a mixture of emotions. Happiness, anxiety, curiosity. I mean what if her brother doesn't agree! What will I do then?!
laa t3awath min iblees ya 5aled int ma3alaik g9oor, rajaal ou tdrs biljaam3a ma naag9ak shay latfaawil inshallah 5air..

I drive to Doha to meet her brother.. Yes, her brother!
I decided to call her to check up on her… wa7ashniii 9oot’haa!!
I missed everything about her, her laugh, her charming giggles, and the way she acts casually around me when I know she’s nervous inside… if I listed all the things I missed about her the list would be indefinite, never-ending and monotous for everyone except me. No one would understand anything from that list because it’s personal
it’s mine …
she’s mine.

Yes, she had been a bit cold and jaamda lately, but it was the stress of her exams. Everything will be perfect once I talk to her brother.

** After the phone call **

I heard the dial tone, she closed the phone.

Yeah, what other words has she left to say that she didn’t anyway?!

I couldn’t think. I didn’t know how to react, I didn’t know what to do. I went off the road, and ignored the sudden car beeps from behind. I stopped my car and just sat there, in silence. I had no idea what was going on. A minute ago, I was fine. Everything was perfect and I knew exactly what I wanted out of life, I knew where my life was headed and I knew who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I was on my way to meet her brother for god’s sake!
I couldn’t believe what I heard. Hay hiya Johara ilee ana a3rfha?! Hay hiya Johara ilee 7abait-ha? Laa, this isn’t her! ANA? Tista3milnee ANA for the game she’s playing?! La waaaallaaah hay jdeeda 3alay. It’s not enough that lately she’s been treating me like I’m her servant, now she’s using me as part of her stupid game to heal her heart.
la la laa, this has never ever happened to me. I have never been so embarrassed, so shocked, so humiliated! Ana a9lan min the moment she starting treating me like shit I should have left her, like any other guy in my place would have. Bas I couldn’t, I liked her too much. I loved her. Kanat for me, the perfect girl, funny, smart, cute, and most importantly, she knew her limits.
Wait. Did I just say loved? Kanat? No, I love her. W she IS the perfect girl for me. I guess the fact that I said ‘I love you’ freaked her out. I mean, what was I expecting? ‘I love you too?!’ of course not, I knew she wasn’t going to reply. And even when she did, I knew she was shocked. I heard her hesitate. And what was I doing anyway? I know what happened the last time a guy told her I love you… I should have thought about this more. By saying I love you I think I ruined the best relationship I have ever had… My phone vibrated signaling that I received a text.

"Babe, wallah I’m so sorry… Bas you know what happened with 7amad before..."

2009-04-29T23:05:00.000+03:00

Hey !

I know I used to update on a daily basis bas I have so much work to do lately that I really don't have a lot of time on my hands. Next week I'll be done and I'll probably update the blog Thursday (May 7th). Also, the next post will be from 5aled's point of view, and it was really hard writing it because, well, I'm not a guy and I don't know how guys function.

Oh, and just incase you were wondering, the story is 100% made up.

Meaning I'm not Juju, meaning I'm not a bitchy person in real life. So yeah ...

One last thing. I want to thank everyone who has been reading the blog. Before this, I didn't write at all and I'm hoping to improve my writing skills from your wonderful blogs :D

So thanks everyone !

The Tables Have Been Turned (5)

2009-04-27T18:38:00.000+03:00

Ok, so here's the next part, as promised :D

I hope you guys like it ..

_____________________________________________

Continued from the previous diary entry…

So I picked up the phone…
“Aloo” he said
“Hala, shlonik?”
“il7amdillah, inti?”
“I’m good 5aled” I said. Ok fine, maybe it was a little too rude. But he was interrupting my tanning time
“Juju… laish matridee 3al messegaat?”
“Oh, sorry … I didn’t get anything! There must be something wrong with the network hnee in Dubai. Madree.”

Yes. I lied. I actually did get his messages. He asked me how I did on my exam and random stuff like that. You probably think I’m a bitch right? Anyway.. as I said before, I want to take my mind off of everything and everyone.

“I missed you these couple of days, I thought shay 9ar ”

All I could think was ‘Dude. Chill. It hasn’t even been three/four days’

“Wait.. Aish? You’re in Dubai?!” Mhmmm. I didn’t tell him. Must have slipped my mind.

“5aled. What? So al7een you’re mad at me 3lshan I didn’t tell you that I was going to Dubai with Sara?”

“Im not mad. Laish I get mad? Bil3aks 7beebti, have fun. A9lan you need that after your exams.”

Ok diary, don’t get me wrong. I know I'm being rude to him... but after he said those three words to me. I couldn’t even talk to him anymore. I mean, we were good at first, he just had to ruin it by saying that.

“Oh … ok. Anyway, I’m kinda tanning so I have to go. Bye”

After that I turned to Sara.

“SARAAAA why isn’t he breaking up with me? Isn’t he supposed to be mad at me for not answering his messages and phone calls? Or for not telling him that I’m traveling?!”

“WHAT! You want him to break up with you? When did this happen? WHY??!”

“Umm. Hello? Have you not been paying attention to the latest updates? He said I love you. I obviously can’t stay in this relationship anymore”

“Juju. Chub ok? Just shut up. The dude loves you. Do you know how many girls would LOVE to be in your place right now? W it’s not like he’s an ass, 5aled’s an amazing guy..."

“Saraaa, I don’t know what to do. I didn’t get together with him to find love. Come on, you know that. I just wanted to get my mind off of other things and it worked. Im fixed, so there’s really no need for 5aled anymore”

“JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOJ! shfeech? Are you listening to yourself. Please, for a second replay what you just said in your head. Umm, you don’t need him anymore? WHAT THE HELL. Like he’s some toy you’re using and then you throw him away when his purpose is gone. Listen to me, you are not breaking up with him. If you don’t want him to love you then make him fall out of love with you, bas don’t be like ‘Hey 5aled, by the way it’s over. Thanks, bye’. “

“Sarooo…” I didn’t have time to finish my sentence. You have no idea what happened to me next. NO IDEA. I took a quick look at my phone and I saw his name on the screen. And right there, on my screen was:

Connected.
5aled Al X
+96650…
Mobile

I actually think for a split second there, my heart stopped functioning. Then, it started beating so hard against my chest I thought it was going to push its way out of my body mn kthr ma how fast it was beating. Then, I disconnected the call and started hyperventilating.

He heard everything…

The Tables Have Been Turned (4)

2009-04-26T18:09:00.000+03:00

Ok, so .. I had a really long post but I decided to split it into two posts. So I'm posting this one now and the next one some time tomorrow.

+ For the people who are waiting for a post with Masha3el, I'm sorry but you'll have to wait a little bit longer ..

________________________________________________

Friday, May 30^th, 2009

Today I woke up at around 7:30am. Sara was still passed out on the sofa, and I didn’t want to wake her up, so I went out and decided to tan on our very large balcony. I heard guys’ voices and loud music coming from next door, but I didn’t mind the music, and it’s not like the guys can see me tanning. With my iPod on shuffle, I laid down and soaked up the early morning sun.

About an hour later, Sara came out with a sun dress on and started to say something. I couldn’t hear her because of Lady GaGa’s Poker Face, and after I removed my earphones and told her I had no idea what she said she just gave me a really confused look and casually pointed behind me.

Shit. Why do the stupidest most embarrassing things happen to me?
Yes, the guys had a clear view of me. I did not notice that we had (for god knows what reason) a shared balcony!

YOU’D THINK SOMEONE WOULD NOTICE THESE THINGS
But, in my defense, it was the morning and all I was interested in was tanning…

And the guys who were now on the balcony had a clear view of me. Tanning. Just laying there. Oh My God. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t see them because I had my eyes closed the entire time!

I went into panic mode, but I didn’t show it. I looked at Sara, I was trying to not scream and run inside, and I told her that we should order breakfast and head back inside. After ordering two orange juices and scrambles eggs, we sat on the couch…

“JUJU … shda3wa machifteehom” she said to me
“Sarooo !!! fsheeela .. wallah I didn’t see them, kint 7a6a il music 3al loud w ga3da im tanning.. w a9lan why does this stupid hotel link balconies! Ana I came with you, NOT THEM! So why are our balconies linked?!”
“Whatever, the balcony thing doesn’t matter. Did you see the guys though, Oh My God. Kl wa7ad a7la mn il thanee! I actually thought you went tanning outside just to look at them”
“Yeah Sara, first I’m a player w al7een I’m a slut. Shfeeech?! I thought you knew me better than that” It actually hurt, but I said it nonchalantly and as a joke, so I don’t think she picked up on my slightly hurt ego.
“Laa juju, I’m just saying!”

After that conversation and breakfast, we headed to the beach.
The beach. Just saying that relaxes you, don’t you agree? Anyway, yeah … we went to the beach. We stayed there for five hours ! It was mostly spent tanning, and in peace and quiet. But, that doesn’t usually last long and I was interrupted by a phone call from Khaled. I had to pick it up since, “I loved him too”. Urgh.

The Tables Have Been Turned (3)

2009-04-25T12:20:00.000+03:00

NOTE:

The story used to be called "Is It Love?". Bas then, while browsing around blogger I found another blog with the exact same name and I was like :O

So yeah, I changed the name to "The Tables Have Been Turned" w I guess it still fits in a way :P

Also, this isn't exactly the best post. But I promise, the next ones will be better and more "action-filled", kinda. + Sorry for the short post ...

_____________________________________________

Thursday, May 29^th, 2009

You will not believe what happened to me today.
I was fast asleep, and I had a beautiful dream, which I can’t remember.
Doesn’t that piss you off? When you know you had an amazing, euphoric, over the clouds dream and then, when your alarm wakes you up (or whatever wakes you up) your dream just comes to a complete halt and you wake up, not remembering anything from that wonderful dream? Other than the fact that it was incredible, akeed. Urghh.
Not the point.
Anyway, as my dream trailed off into nothingness I heard a loud noise. It seemed like it was coming from outside, like a person was drilling something outside my house annoyingly and very loudly. I looked to my left and the sun’s rays coming through the curtain blinded me, it was daylight. I looked to my left and saw that my phone was lit, and it vibrating so loudly (that was the drilling noise I had heard, which ruined my dream :( ). I answered it,

“Alooo Juju wenichhh ?! kalamtich like meet marra bas ma radeity 3alay, yalla we’re boarding in like 40 minutes, you’re supposed to be here”

Ana. Ri7t. Feeha.

I shut the phone on her face. I looked at the time. Shit. It was 11:20 and I was in my bed. Thank god I hadn’t left my packing for the last minute. I shot out of bed, and I went straight into the shower. I finished my shower in 10 minutes, and I got dressed. I wore red sandals, a white sun dress and I grabbed my red Jimmy Choo bag (which I * thank god * prepared the day before, with all the things I would need for the flight). I looked in the mirror, and saw that my hair was still half wet and wasn’t done. What was I supposed to do with my unruly hair? I knew that as soon as I got into the plane, the pressure would instantly make it frizz up, and stay that way. I tied it into a messy bun and left the house. Just as I was putting the keys into the ignition I looked down at myself, and great.
Just great.
I forgot to wear my 3abaya. I ran into the house, put it on and left. My suitcase was probably already in the plane by the time I left the house, my driver had taken it to the airport a few hours before I even woke up.

The flight wasn’t long at all. Mala7agt I sit illa the announcement comes up to put our seatbelts on and get ready for landing. The hotel wasn’t far at all; we stayed at the X hotel. Sara didn’t feel jetlagged at all, and neither did I. We wanted to leave the hotel, and obviously, we didn’t have time to go tanning. So we decided to head to the mall. There was something about the malls here in Dubai. It’s not like in Doha where I can’t stand to be around the people (mainly I think it’s the feeling you get that all eyes are on you and that you are constantly being judged by the people) so you go in the mall, do what you have to do and leave. Here, you just go to the mall for the sake of going to the mall, I can spend all day at the malls here in Dubai and not feel agitated and insecure. I get insecure all the time, and I’m always paranoid. To the extreme.

We shopped till we couldn’t feel our legs anymore, we had way too many bags and anyways, we practically bought everything we needed in just one day – and everything we didn’t need. Tomorrow’s going to be the most fun I’ve had in a long time, and I’m looking forward to it. And now, I’m sitting in the living room of the suite, writing this, with Friends (a TV show I can never get enough from) ready to start playing and sara giving me an angry look because she wants to start watching ...

So, the swalif of Ross, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for me.

Bye ...

The Tables Have Been Turned (2)

2009-04-24T00:32:00.000+03:00

Wednesday, May 28^th, 2009

I’m still not over what happened yesterday. A9lan she knows I never went into this in search of ‘The One’ and love. Bas kint abee rebound, w my hott second cousin from Saudi Arabia sounded like the perfect choice.

And what ever happened to the stereotype that guys were just fooling around and that they don’t get into a relationship to find love? I needed that stereotypical guy, and I just happened to end up with the one who wants to find love. *yay for me * - not.

I mean, I know relationships don’t go according to plan. My last few have been a complete catastrophe. And one of them shouldn’t even count as a relationship to begin with, it only lasted a few weeks.

Anyway, I’m not going to bore you with the story of my exes, that’s for another diary entry. I’m going to talk about what I did today…

So, I woke up feeling mad. Then the madness turned into guilt when I looked at my phone and saw that there was a star on top of my blackberry messenger icon.
It was from Khaled.
Thank god it didn’t say what he told me yesterday.
If I was to be reminded of that as soon as I woke up I would have been frenzied and totally out of control.
The message read: ‘Good morning 7abeebti, inshallah you do well 3al imti7an ;*’
Nice. I felt sooo bad for lying to him about having an exam. But what was I supposed to do?
Next, the BBM from Sara that read: ‘Yalla gooomeee we need to go buy sun dresses and bikinis for Dubai!’

That message lifted my spirits. I had completely forgotten that I was going with her to Dubai over the weekend. We needed some time off, and what better way to relax than sitting on a beach, listening to the waves and having the blazing hot sun’s rays on my back- Not in Doha of course.

* Oh, by the way diary, I finished all my courses this year and I just have a couple of papers to hand in. Then, I’ll be done with my third year of uni! *

Back to the subject. So I quickly got dressed, skinny jeans and a tank top was the way to go, with high heels of course. I quickly ran down the stairs after I got dressed, wore my 3abaya and I called Sara to tell her I was on the way to pick her up. I got into my car and drove to her house, it took me the usual ten minutes to get there and we headed to villagio.

We started off in the marka section, not finding anything worth buying. I never really like going to that section, it’s always filled with pervy guys trying to scope out girls. And plus, personally, for some reason I never find any nice sun dresses and bikinis in that section.

So we went to top shop. Thank the lord for top shop. Il9ara7a, everything you need can be found in that one store. Hot leggings, cool tank tops, shorts, pretty sundresses and perfect bikinis. I was in a daring mood and decided to get a white bikini with a gold chain, damn it’s hot! I also got an emerald one, which perfectly suited my body. They had an amazing assortment of shorts, so I got one of each color! Sara got a dark blue bikini and a really cool orange tankini. I could just imagine us sitting on the beach, the sun on our backs, with our minds off of everything and most importantly, everyone.

The car ride back to Sara’s house was spent mostly in silence, except for T.I rapping in the background. I never really understood why she liked him and enjoyed listening to his songs. Every time I hear one of his songs I shudder, I can’t take it, but she begged me to try to listen to him, and I did. As we neared the turn into her house she got a message from her boyfriend. Something about needing to talk to her urgently. She didn’t seem worried about it, so I didn’t say anything.

Now I’m at home, comfortably sitting on my bed writing this. My suitcase is packed messily, but who cares? and I’m ready for Dubai. My flight leaves at 12 pm, so I have to go to bed now. Good night.

PS – OMG, I can’t believe I didn’t mention this. During the car ride Sara turned to me and said
“Juju, bagolich shay…” I could hear the hesitation in her voice, and I could tell that she wasn’t sure if she should carry on talking
“Sara, shfeech? Tell meeee”
“Ok … ummm … Masha3el bitkoon in the hotel we’re staying at in Dubai” She said it so fast, that I could barely make out what she was saying, but I made out the name Masha3el

I could feel the anger inside of me, the anger that I suppressed for months was starting to claw out of me and I didn’t know what to do or think. I didn’t want to go to Dubai anymore, there was no way I was going to be in the same place as her.

“Sara, WHICH Masha3el?”
“Ya3ne which Masha3el? THAT Masha3el”

Ok diary, I can’t even think of this anymore, I’m gonna go sleep. More updates next time !
Bye …

The Tables Have Been Turned (1)

2009-04-21T20:52:00.000+03:00

Tuesday, May 27^th, 2009

Dear Diary,
Woah, I feel so lame already. Ok so by writing this diary I’m not making a statement that my life is actually worth reading about, like Anne Frank or whoever else kept a diary that was discovered later on. I just want a place where I can be honest and spill all my thoughts onto, so I decided to start a diary/journal thing.
Here it goes …

I was on the phone with my boyfriend …

I could hear him inhale, and I could sense that he stiffened a little bit. ‘Oh god, I bet something’s going on. I hope it’s not anything bad.’ I thought

“Ab’3a agoolik shay bas please don’t feel like you have to reply, w law t7iseen it’s too soon gooleelee ok?”
“Umm… ok” What was up with that? Oh god, I actually felt like I was about to be sick
“I love you”. He said it confidently. And I could hear him exhale, happily. I could sense that he was loosening up, and obviously he was waiting for a reply.

After, all I could think was “Shit. Shit shit shit shit SHIT. Oh. My. God. He said those words. The words.” I’m actually still in shock, it’s like I heard them, but I didn’t. You know? What was I supposed to do next?

‘Say something, anything… just don’t make him wait’ I thought to myself.

“Me too” I finally whispered after a long, uncomfortable and very awkward – for the both of us- pause. I was hoping he heard me, I barely heard myself, bas I was so not going to repeat that.

He let out a sigh of relief. It was barely audible, but I just about could hear it. Ok, good. So he heard me.

“jojo, mn jid you scared me, ma fakart bitridee 3alay” he said.
Technically ma radait 3aleih.
“La shda3wa, akeed barid 3aleik .. w a9lan glt inna I don’t have to rid 3aleik if I thought it was too soon”
“I know, bas I hoped you would”
“Ok, tara lazem anam, 3indee imti7an bkra”
“Ok 7abeebti, Inshallah tinja7ee”

And I shut the phone. I let out a huge sigh of relief that the phone call had ended and that I made up a believable excuse to get off the phone. That had got to be the worst phone call ever. I had no idea what to do, I was so taken aback by what he said, and it was so random and out of the blue.

I had no idea what to do next. And plus, it was 3:30am. I didn’t want to wake up my friend Sara, so I just texted her:

‘Saroo, lama itgoomeen text me back :(‘

She called me five minutes after I sent her the message.

“Alooooo” She drowsily said. I could tell she wasn’t up, my message probably woke her up. I actually wasn’t going to tell her what happened because she sounded so unfocused, but I did tell her
“Saroo, galee I love you”
“Mabroooooook !” Ok, so I had gotten her attention, she was definitely not in a haze anymore, I heard her sit up in bed. Why did she think this was a good thing?
“Sara!”
“Ilnaas egooloon allah ebarik feech”
“Laa sara ! mabee, this is NOT a good thing. Il mshkila inna I know he means it ! Shasaweee?! W after he said it gilt me too!” I was freaking out. I knew he meant it, obviously… It was Khaled, he wouldn’t say something like this if he didn’t mean it
“Yeah Jo, say it without meaning it!” she was obviously being sarcastic.
“Madree Saro, mabee I break his heart. I’ll just go along with it I guess.”
“Johara!! Shfeech?! Ya3nee btil3been 3aleih??!”
“Sara, don’t put it like that. W ma7ad gal I don’t like him, I just don’t Love him, bas!”

I got so mad at her I just had to get off the phone. I told her I’ll speak with her about this tomorrow. I can’t believe she called me a player!

Anyways, I’m going to bed now … Bye !

...

2009-04-21T20:23:00.000+03:00

Hey you guys !!

I'm new to this whole blogging/story writing thing w I've been inspired by a couple of members here, and I started to write a bit. I hope you guys like it, w feedback (good or bad) is always appreciated !

Thanks :)