The Tables Have Been Turned (1)

Tuesday, May 27^th, 2009

Dear Diary,
Woah, I feel so lame already. Ok so by writing this diary I’m not making a statement that my life is actually worth reading about, like Anne Frank or whoever else kept a diary that was discovered later on. I just want a place where I can be honest and spill all my thoughts onto, so I decided to start a diary/journal thing.
Here it goes …

 

I was on the phone with my boyfriend …

I could hear him inhale, and I could sense that he stiffened a little bit. ‘Oh god, I bet something’s going on. I hope it’s not anything bad.’ I thought

“Ab’3a agoolik shay bas please don’t feel like you have to reply, w law t7iseen it’s too soon gooleelee ok?”
“Umm… ok” What was up with that? Oh god, I actually felt like I was about to be sick
“I love you”. He said it confidently. And I could hear him exhale, happily. I could sense that he was loosening up, and obviously he was waiting for a reply.

After, all I could think was “Shit. Shit shit shit shit SHIT. Oh. My. God. He said those words. The words.” I’m actually still in shock, it’s like I heard them, but I didn’t. You know? What was I supposed to do next?

‘Say something, anything… just don’t make him wait’ I thought to myself.

“Me too” I finally whispered after a long, uncomfortable and very awkward  – for the both of us- pause. I was hoping he heard me, I barely heard myself, bas I was so not going to repeat that.

He let out a sigh of relief. It was barely audible, but I just about could hear it. Ok, good. So he heard me.

“jojo, mn jid you scared me, ma fakart bitridee 3alay” he said.
Technically ma radait 3aleih.
“La shda3wa, akeed barid 3aleik .. w a9lan glt inna I don’t have to rid 3aleik if I thought it was too soon”
“I know, bas I hoped you would”
“Ok, tara  lazem anam, 3indee imti7an bkra”
“Ok 7abeebti, Inshallah tinja7ee”

And I shut the phone. I let out a huge sigh of relief that the phone call had ended and that I made up a believable excuse to get off the phone. That had got to be the worst phone call ever. I had no idea what to do, I was so taken aback by what he said, and it was so random and out of the blue.

I had no idea what to do next. And plus, it was 3:30am. I didn’t want to wake up my friend Sara, so I just texted her:

‘Saroo, lama itgoomeen text me back :(‘

She called me five minutes after I sent her the message.

“Alooooo” She drowsily said. I could tell she wasn’t up, my message probably woke her up. I actually wasn’t going to tell her what happened because she sounded so unfocused, but I did tell her
“Saroo, galee I love you”
“Mabroooooook !” Ok, so I had gotten her attention, she was definitely not in a haze anymore, I heard her sit up in bed. Why did she think this was a good thing?
“Sara!”
“Ilnaas egooloon allah ebarik feech”
“Laa sara ! mabee, this is NOT a good thing. Il mshkila inna I know he means it ! Shasaweee?! W after he said it gilt me too!” I was freaking out. I knew he meant it, obviously… It was Khaled, he wouldn’t say something like this if he didn’t mean it
“Yeah Jo, say it without meaning it!” she was obviously being sarcastic.
“Madree Saro, mabee I break his heart. I’ll just go along with it I guess.”
“Johara!! Shfeech?! Ya3nee btil3been 3aleih??!”
“Sara, don’t put it like that. W ma7ad gal I don’t like him, I just don’t Love him, bas!”

I got so mad at her I just had to get off the phone. I told her I’ll speak with her about this tomorrow. I can’t believe  she called me a player!

Anyways, I’m going to bed now … Bye !